Ballroom Team Match and Being a Spectator (Write31Days Day 25)

I know I said I would expand on the wonderful effects that ballroom can have on you today. But if you’ll pardon the delay, I attended my studio’s team match yesterday and was inspired in a different direction. I promise I’ll get back to ballroom effects tomorrow.

Yesterday wasn’t my first team match; I’ve attended at least four. The big difference yesterday was I wasn’t dancing, only watching.

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Life Isn’t Fair – Based on a True Story

I was prepared when the phone rang this time. Teacher asked how I was and I said “I’m not sure…because you’re calling…”

Teacher was calling to inform me of the surgery necessary to repair the fractures in his wrist. So much for a clean break.

Surgery meant a longer recovery time. So for the second time, a goal has been crossed out and the future shifted back into obscurity.

There will be no Best of the Best at Ohio Star Ball for this dancer.

I initially wrote this post right after Teacher called me that second time. But I wanted to hold off on sharing it until after my first post-surgery lesson with him. Because the title is 100% true – life isn’t fair. But it is still worth pursuing.

In the middle of processing the second dream lost, I couldn’t articulate why anyone should bother if it all could be taken away without cause. So I waited until I had some time to process and then reconnected with Teacher and started working toward new plans for my ballroom future. I thought getting back into the swing of things would help inspire the words I would need to encourage and motivate you despite the random smackdowns life would give you.

It didn’t.

I still feel like life is just totally unfair and I’m still struggling to keep myself motivated.

But screw it, here is what I wrote anyway.

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Cutting Back to Move Forward or Why I Love Group Class

Can you believe it’s June already? The year is almost halfway over! A new month always means one thing: new bills to pay. After paying rent, a utility bill, and a credit card bill all at once, I thought I better take another look at my projected budget for the next few months. I have two budgets: a general one of income and expenses, so I know I’m living within my means, and a projected one, so I can see more precisely where I’ll be financially at certain times in the next few months, like when rent is due or when I need to write a check for comp entry fees. I can also better time bill paying with paychecks. It’s all very carefully planned so I can continue following these crazy ballroom dreams of mine.

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A Little Cha Cha and Connections – This is Why I Do What I Do

Just a quick post because I need to go to bed, but I won’t be able to sleep if I don’t share these things now.

One: I was having a “meh” Monday.  What Monday isn’t “meh”?  In any case, I went to the studio to take a cha cha group class. I was on the fence about going because I was really tired and kept getting stuck in my head about a bunch of things, not all dance-related. But I hadn’t been to a group class in awhile and I haven’t done cha cha in an even longer while, so off I went. It was exactly what I needed.  Lucky me, it was just me and one guy, so we ended up with a semi-private lesson. Forty-five minutes later and I didn’t feel so tired and my troubles didn’t seem so bad. And as I drove home, I thought this is it!  This is why I spend all this money on this ballroom nonsense. It makes me feel good! It makes me happy!  All of my anxieties and fears over performance and wanting to be accepted and feel like I belong, those are born out of the “extra” stuff that surrounds the dance. And I like that extra stuff too. I like pushing myself to improve and challenging myself at competition. I want those anxieties and fears brought to the surface so I can finally see what they’re really made of and work on exorcising them! But it’s nice to be able to take a break and just do a little cha cha.

Two: I was so very honored to read a quote from my last post as the starting line to the latest post on Facing Diagonal Wall. Because this is why I blog. To connect with people, to inspire people, to encourage people. I feel so blessed to have connected with so many bloggers through the Ballroom Village in such a short time. Big thank you to the Biggest Girl in the Ballroom for inviting me to be a part of this awesome group!

This evening has made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and even a little teary-eyed! I hope I can continue to connect with people, support them in their pursuit of their passion, guide them in battles against their demons, and inspire them to do whatever makes them want to dance!

I want you to know that you all rock.  Every single one of you.

Sweet dreams!