As just a person with experience, and not an expert or professional in the mental health field, here is a breakdown of how I handled my anxiety attacks described in yesterday’s post. Maybe someone else will find these tactics useful.
Continue reading
Tag: demons
Countdown to CalOpen – 12 Days: Anxious Beast Mode
Before group class yesterday, I was formulating a post idea in my head about entering “beast mode.” You’ve probably heard the term. It’s used to describe someone in a state of extreme determination and action, like an incredible hulk of productivity. No more excuses, no slacking off. In beast mode, you get things DONE.
I was feeling a bit like I was in beast mode. After a good lesson on Wednesday, which ended with a practice round (meaning we danced all four dances in a row, just like we will at the competition), I identified mistakes I made and things I needed to work on. And I was ready to WORK. “Let’s dance that again, and then dance it 10 more times!” I arrived at the studio early yesterday so I could practice before Teacher’s waltz group class.
It didn’t go so well.
Countdown to Calopen – 15 Days: Visiting With an Old “Friend”
Two more weeks! I’m actually feeling ok.
Continue reading
Twas the Night After Christmas
And all through the house, not a creature was stirring…
Except for me. I’m not quite ready to sleep. But I think it’s ok, since Santa has already come and gone. I hope all of my readers who celebrate Christmas had a wonderful holiday!
I’m just going to openly ponder some things while I wait for my eyelids to get heavy.
Ask the Girl Episode 5 – Why Do I Do This to Myself?
Today’s Ask the Girl episode was inspired by a conversation I had with the creator of freeballroomlessons.com. He specializes in teaching social-level ballroom dancing, but used to dance competitively. We were talking about how expensive ballroom competitions are, especially for a pro-am student like myself, and about the emotional rollercoasters that competing in ballroom puts me on.
He wondered, with all of the financial and emotional stress involved in competition, why do I do it?
“So What’s Next for You?”
I get this question a lot when I’m at the studio. I ask this question a lot! It’s a standard “catch up” question among ballroom dancers to find out what event you’re working toward. But it’s also become an awkward question because my answer is “I have no idea.”
I’m slowly figuring out how to cope with not having a real answer to that question. I’m working on setting non-competition dance goals to keep myself busy and motivated (keep an eye out for an article on those!). Teacher doesn’t want me to give up on competition goals though, even if the next one is six months out or more. Usually encouragement and support from Teacher would boost my motivation to find any and all creative solutions to my financial dilemma. That’s how I managed to afford my 2015 comps!
But something is holding me back. And considering I just wrote about why I crave a challenge beyond just dancing, I want to explore why I’m having trouble motivating myself to find a new path to the fuel that feeds my inner fire.
You guys don’t mind me using this platform to psychoanalyze myself, right?
Psycho-what?
Ask the Girl!
As I pondered the next nugget of my journey to share with you, I thought I’d open the floor up for questions or topics that you want me to discuss here.
So I’m starting a new series called Ask the Girl! You can ask me about ballroom, writing, dealing with demons, pursuing a passion…anything really, the floor is yours! If there is something that’s been bugging you, chances are it’s bugging someone else too. Let’s start a dialogue and help each other out!
Comment below or send me a message. Depending on the response, I’ll dedicate at least one post per week to addressing your questions, comments, concerns, etc.
I Perform Better in the Dark
Before I get started, I just want to share that I’m on vacation for an entire week! Obviously, I really needed it because my mood improved more and more on Friday as it got closer to quitting time. I’m looking forward to this week of sleeping in, spending time with my puppies, writing, and dancing!
Which brings me to today’s topic:
For the last few weeks, I’ve been going to these Sunday social dances. They are hosted by a friend of Teacher’s, owner/creator of freeballroomlessons.com.
Watching From the Other Side of the Ballroom, Accompanied by My Fears
I spent a lot of time waiting while working as a runner at the Hollywood Dancesport Championships. It gave me a chance to watch people dance, including Teacher with two of his students. I already wrote about the challenges that can come with being a spectator, when I attended the studio’s Halloween team match. Spectating at this comp was the next level up.
Continue reading
Trust and Ballroom Part 2: Trusting Yourself (Write31Days Day 30)
After getting a bit of a mental smackdown courtesy of my demons last night, I considered letting them write today’s post. But I’m going to pull myself together and focus on the productive and the positive.
Another lesson and another repeated mantra from Teacher yesterday led to this extension of yesterday’s post on Trust and Ballroom.
You have to trust your partner in order to dance ballroom. But you also have to trust yourself.
The Girl with the Tree Tattoo 