Mental Smackdown – Small Disappointment, Big Doubt

The title is a bit of a misnomer; my demons aren’t controlling the content here, but they did inspire this post. So close enough!

Remember when I wrote that I was really looking forward to this past Friday’s lesson, but there was a possible scheduling conflict? Well, possibility turned into reality. My lesson was cancelled.

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Mental Smackdown – When Your Dealer Cancels Your Next Fix

On today’s episode of Mental Smackdown, I share what happens when an external trigger sets the demons loose in my head and how I attempt to bring order back to the chaos that’s created.

I was having a really good night, feeling genuinely optimistic about life in general.  And then my lesson was cancelled. Cue descent into darkness.

I know, I know, so dramatic! It’s just one lesson. Disappointment, sure, but descent into darkness? Really? Financially, it helps me because it stretches my last lesson payment that much further. So what’s my problem? Well, like any good addict, sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is my next fix. I think it’s been well established that I am addicted to ballroom and my heart and soul gets poured into it. Good or bad, I desperately rely on my two standing lessons to get me through some weeks. I may be hating life, but at least I have a lesson to look forward to. So when that oasis I’m crawling toward turns out to be a mirage? Let’s just say the struggle is real. Still too dramatic? Just wait, it gets better.

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