Lingering Doubts

I was at a dance lesson a little over a week ago, and Teacher was talking about some of the more intricate details of our open Waltz routine. These were the details that add another layer of quality and performance to the dance.

It had nothing to do with making steps fancier or more complicated. It was about activating the body in the right way at the right time to demonstrate control and awareness. Adding an extra little tick here or extending a stretch a second longer there would also demonstrate musicality and my ability to “play” within the confines of the choreography.

As he talked about one section, I thought of other sections where I knew I could go further, push deeper, or do more to create something that would make the audience go “wow.” This kind of talk excites me. It’s a deep dive into the art of the dance and gives me more opportunity to work my creative muscles.

At the same time though, as I pictured myself adding those intricate layers to my dancing, I felt a twang, like anxiety plucked one of my heartstrings.

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Dancing on Christmas Eve

It may be the day before Christmas, but it’s also Sunday. As you know, Sunday is my main practice day, so even though it would have been easy to skip, I still went to the studio to practice. I didn’t want to skip anyway. Friday was my last dance lesson of 2017 (unless Teacher decides he wants to teach next week) and I didn’t want to stop dancing! Apparently I wasn’t the only one. There was a LOT of people at the studio! More than I’ve ever seen on a Sunday morning. I’m guessing we all had the same thought, that we’d have the studio to ourselves!

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Some Follow-up Thoughts to My FloDance Interview

The release of my interview with FloDance on Saturday got me thinking about my journey so far in ballroom and as the Girl with the Tree Tattoo. It’s incredible to look back and see how much I’ve changed. A couple years ago, I would have been privately excited and proud of an interview like this, but outwardly I would have hid that excitement and felt embarrassed and almost guilty for “bragging” by sharing the video. Bragging in my head is a bad thing, something to be ashamed of, and calling attention to myself feels like a form of bragging. I still get squirmy about having attention on me, but the cool thing that’s happened is I’m realizing that it’s not really about me. It’s about the message I’m trying to convey to the world.

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Own It

I know it’s been longer than usual since I last posted. Searching for a place to live has been stressing me out of my gourd, which has left me with some major writer’s block. Some other things have been adding to the stress level too, and with Teacher out of town last week, I didn’t have any dance lessons to provide relief. So when this inkling of an idea pushed its way to the front of my mind, I jumped on it. The block has been alerted to its presence though, so hopefully it survives long enough for me to create something worth reading. (I have this image of this dark shadow slowly creeping toward the tiny glowing creature that is my inspiration inkling.)

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