When the Doubts Roll In

The weather is getting colder here. Frost appears on the grass every morning now, with low temperatures hitting the 20s. I had to scrape ice off my windshield this morning before I left for Zumba. High temperatures are still hitting the low 50s, so I wouldn’t call it winter yet but I know the 20s will soon be the high rather than the low. Layers are my best friend as I await the arrival of my first real winter in years. I also ordered some wool socks.

Photo by photos_by_ginny on Pexels.com
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Learning to Trust My Power

Can you relate to this?

You’re working on a piece of choreography with your teacher. They tell you you’re doing fine but you’re holding back, you need to let go of your doubts and just go for it. Finally, you do! Your teacher is thrilled, and you’re happy and surprised. And then you freak out internally because this expression of power and confidence in yourself caught you off guard. Like a rubber band being stretched long and then snapping back to its original size, you have this urge to retreat back to a safer, smaller space where you feel less vulnerable.

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You Keep Falling Because You Don’t Believe You Can Fly

Way back in 2015, when The Girl with the Tree Tattoo blog was still in the Newcomer division, I wrote an article for another dance website about partnering. I listed trust as one of three key factors for a successful dance partnership. Trust is a funny thing. It is like a house of cards, built up slowly over time, but one wrong move can make the entire structure collapse. It’s very fragile, and at the same time, holds very strong influence over us. We are willing to give so much of ourselves to those we trust without question.

In ballroom dancing, you have to trust your partner. You have to trust in their ability to dance and lead or follow (depending on your role). On a more emotional level, you have to trust them to respect you as you allow them into your personal space. The physical contact required for ballroom dancing (another key factor) can make you feel extremely vulnerable. It takes trust to ease that feeling and make you feel comfortable enough to dance well.

Ballroom dancing also requires trust in yourself.

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“Trust” – That Ever-Elusive Dance Partner

A quick post.

I came across this video on Facebook, posted by Steezy:

I love Mitch Villareal’s very precise, yet smooth movements. Every one is executed with purpose and confidence.

Oh, if only I could dance like that!

The ironic thing is the title of the video is the reason I can’t: trust.

“Trust” is going to be my key word for 2016. I know I have issues trusting others, but the harder thing to admit is how much trouble I have trusting myself.

Teacher brings it up again and again. I whine or fret that I just can’t get something right, and he comes back with “it’s because you’re not trusting yourself!”

Point taken, I’ll work on that. Trust me.

Ask the Girl Episode 4 – Finding the Right Partner

It’s Tuesday again and I’ve got another Ask the Girl post for you!

I don’t know about you, but I had a rough Monday. If there is such a thing as a case of the Mondays, I had it bad! But I survived to write again.

Today’s question came from one of my Instagram followers! She just started dancing and competing in pro-am ballroom with a pro who also happens to be a good friend. Their connection outside of dance makes their connection and performance on the dance floor really strong, but she has also found that it sometimes causes extra heartache and disappointment. She wanted to know how I found my dance partner and how I knew he was the one to stick with.

Is there any pro-am dancer out there who hasn’t experienced the odd mix of joy and pain that is ballroom dancing? I doubt it.

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Trust and Ballroom Part 2: Trusting Yourself (Write31Days Day 30)

After getting a bit of a mental smackdown courtesy of my demons last night, I considered letting them write today’s post. But I’m going to pull myself together and focus on the productive and the positive.

We all fall apart sometimes

Another lesson and another repeated mantra from Teacher yesterday led to this extension of yesterday’s post on Trust and Ballroom.

You have to trust your partner in order to dance ballroom. But you also have to trust yourself.

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Trust and Ballroom (Write31Days Day 29)

Fun fact: yesterday was my 100th post on the Girl with the Tree Tattoo! I was so tired last night that I didn’t realize it until WordPress sent me a notification. The website has only been up for about 8 months. I’m feeling accomplished!

There are only a few days left of the writing challenge. I sincerely hope you’ve enjoyed the daily writings, and if you’re new to the site, I hope you’ll stick around after this challenge ends. Don’t expect any new activity on November 1 though! Honestly, I’m ready for a break.

Today I wanted to talk about trust and its critical role in ballroom dancing.

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