Imagine you dance at a competition and you do great! Imagine whatever “great” means to you – top placements, pure enjoyment, or successfully executing something you had been struggling with. Now imagine you wake up a couple of days after the competition and you feel like crap. I call this “post-comp blues.”
Category: Competitions
The Glitz and Glamour of Ballroom Competition (Write31Days Day 15)
I’m back! Not that I went anywhere, I just left my computer off. I definitely needed the small, temporary release of pressure. Other parts of my life are stressful enough; my writing should counter that. When it starts to contribute instead, I know I need to take a break.
To get back in the swing and sway of things (ballroom joke), I thought I would describe for you the razzle dazzle of a ballroom competition!
Dancing Through Monday (Write31Days Day 5)
I feel like I should lighten the mood a bit for Monday. It’s easy to get wrapped up in everything I struggle with on my ballroom journey and forget my accomplishments!
So I went through some videos and forced myself to find things I liked about my dancing!
Studio Team Match, August 2015:
Here is my bronze waltz routine. I like the smoothness of my dancing here and the extension of my arms in the beginning and in the open sections of the routine.
I also debuted my silver routines at the team match! Here is my foxtrot; I’m proud of myself for making it through the routine and looking like I knew what I was doing, even though I was having the worst time remembering the steps!
Emerald Ball, April 2015:
This video is of my bronze tango routine, and is also on my Videos page. It’s one of my favorites because you can see the judges in the foreground debating about my tattoo. They didn’t agree about whether the silhouette on the tree was of Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire! I think I did a decent job at conveying the intense tango character too.
And just to round out the set, here is my Viennese waltz from Emerald. Despite a split second misread on Teacher’s lead at one point, I feel like my dancing was very solid and I love how our arm styling matches almost perfectly. I even smiled!
Happy Monday!
Don’t forget to check out other posts from the 31 Day Writing Challenge!
Life Isn’t Fair – Based on a True Story
I was prepared when the phone rang this time. Teacher asked how I was and I said “I’m not sure…because you’re calling…”
Teacher was calling to inform me of the surgery necessary to repair the fractures in his wrist. So much for a clean break.
Surgery meant a longer recovery time. So for the second time, a goal has been crossed out and the future shifted back into obscurity.
There will be no Best of the Best at Ohio Star Ball for this dancer.
I initially wrote this post right after Teacher called me that second time. But I wanted to hold off on sharing it until after my first post-surgery lesson with him. Because the title is 100% true – life isn’t fair. But it is still worth pursuing.
In the middle of processing the second dream lost, I couldn’t articulate why anyone should bother if it all could be taken away without cause. So I waited until I had some time to process and then reconnected with Teacher and started working toward new plans for my ballroom future. I thought getting back into the swing of things would help inspire the words I would need to encourage and motivate you despite the random smackdowns life would give you.
It didn’t.
I still feel like life is just totally unfair and I’m still struggling to keep myself motivated.
But screw it, here is what I wrote anyway.
How to Cope with Loss – Part 4: Dare to Dream?
Read the whole How to Cope with Loss series here.
Just a quick note before I hit the sack.
I had another lesson with Teacher today, my second standing of the week. We worked more on silver waltz and went back into silver Viennese. Afterwards, we talked a little about Ohio Star Ball and what kind of events I should enter. I’m still hesitant to let myself say yes, we’re going! But nonetheless, I found myself happy to talk about what levels we would do in the single dance events and what level to enter in the scholarships/multi-dance events and what my goals were as far as placements and performance. It was easy for my mind to run down that path and start imagining how fun and exciting (and nerve-wracking) it will be!
Countdown to USDC – Cancelled
Found out this morning that Teacher broke his wrist.
We won’t be going to USDC.
Ohio Star Ball is questionable.
I liked it better when I was panicking over my silver routines.
Get well soon, Teacher.
Countdown to USDC – 8 Days: I’m Completely Calm (and My Pants are on Fire)
Preface: I almost deleted this post after I wrote it. Because I know I have covered all of this before. The problem with struggles like mine is people get tired of hearing about them because they don’t understand why I don’t just get over it. Especially when I have documented success at the things I have anxiety and insecurities over. But the fact of the matter is this is a long-term project. I could win 10 more competitions and still struggle with fear and self-doubt. My goal with this blog is and always will be to be honest and open about those struggles. Hopefully, it doesn’t get too repetitive for you.
In less than a week, I get on a plane to fly to Florida. Eight days until I dance. I can’t decide if I want this last week to hurry up or slow down. I lean toward hurry up. The anticipation anxiety is always much worse than the anxiety at the actual event. And with it also being almost a week until I meet up with Teacher again, I’ve pretty much entered full panic mode. Which means I’ve gotten very quiet.
But you, my lucky readers, get a glimpse into the storm raging below the seemingly calm surface.
Countdown to USDC – 12 Days: Well, That Could Have Gone Better
Ever have one of those days where you just want to yell “I swear I’m better than this!” because the current evidence is indicating otherwise? Yeah, that was me during my last lesson.
I was such a good student. Arrived at the studio an hour before my scheduled lesson time. I did my stretches and I did a round of my bronze routines AND my silver routines, all on my own. The silver was a little questionable because I still don’t have all of the steps, angles, directions, etc. without Teacher leading me. But I got through them.
Then my lesson started. We were working on silver.
Countdown to USDC – 15 Days: Just Hold That Happy Thought!
Fun fact about the Girl with the Tree Tattoo: I love Peter Pan. I have loved the story of the boy who could fly ever since I was a kid. The first appeal was the ability to fly, of course. And the fact that this ability was within the grasp of the “normal” Darling children. All they had to do was think happy thoughts! And get a little fairy dust sprinkled on them, but I like to focus on the happy thoughts part of the formula. Just think how awesomely it can translate to real life – with positive thinking and a leap of faith, you can lift yourself up out of your every day existence into something magical! You can reach for your dreams!
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Countdown to USDC – 18 Days: “I Am Significant!”
I needed a pep talk to offset the negative voices in my head. I thought there might be others needing one too. So I decided to publish what I came up with.
“I’m not good enough.” “I don’t matter.” “I’m ugly.” “I’m unlovable.” “I don’t deserve to succeed.”
Everyone has thoughts like these. They usually originate from an external source, either direct or indirect. Sometimes from a trusted source. A careless comment or dismissive question can burrow deep in our brains and fester into something much more sinister. Someone you love and trust asks you why you bother doing what you do, it’s not like it’s going to take you anywhere. And, if you’re like me, the demons in your head latch onto that comment like it’s a precious metal and twist it and build it up until, in your dark moments, you find yourself thinking why am I doing this, I’m not good enough to “make it,” what’s the point.
The Girl with the Tree Tattoo 