I’m feeling rundown at the moment, but that’s because I started moving this past weekend. Yes, I have a place to live! I’ve experienced it over and over, but it still seems crazy to me how it can feel like progress has completely stalled and then all of a sudden, something gives way and everything comes together all at once.
I just read this post on Dance Comp Review (link below) and knew you guys could appreciate and understand what this girl is dealing with. It reminded me of my How To Cope with Loss series and some of the stories I’ve read on fellow ballroom bloggers’ sites. We go through some crazy trials! But we survive and hopefully come out stronger in the end.
I’ve already asked Emily if she would write a follow-up article for us on how things go with her new coach, so stay tuned!
I wanted to write a blog post this past weekend to update you guys on what’s happened in a non-dance area of my life because it will affect my dancing. But my mind was still sorting out which way was up. So please forgive the delay.
First, I guess I’ll start with the end: I started a new job today!
Happy Saturday everyone! If you recall, during my dance lesson on Wednesday, I was super self-critical. I couldn’t do anything right, and every compliment Teacher gave me was drowned out by the negative noise in my head. After reflecting on the lesson, I realized I was letting my demons get the best of me again and resolved to go into Friday’s lesson with a different attitude. So I made some commitments to myself.
And all through the house, not a creature was stirring…
Except for me. I’m not quite ready to sleep. But I think it’s ok, since Santa has already come and gone. I hope all of my readers who celebrate Christmas had a wonderful holiday!
I’m just going to openly ponder some things while I wait for my eyelids to get heavy.
I miss ballroom dancing.
I haven’t completely stopped, but I am doing a lot less. So far in December, I’ve had two private lessons. In mid-November, I had to cut down from two to one per week due to finances. Then Teacher was gone for a week for the Holiday Dance Classic. This past week, we were supposed to return to the normal two, but Teacher cancelled the second one.
Two lessons. Normally, it would have been six by now! Or at least four, if you account for the week Teacher was gone for the competition. And with the holidays coming up, I might have two more lessons before the end of the year.
I miss dancing.
Two is better than none though, right? Am I just being ungrateful?
Today’s Ask the Girl episode was inspired by a conversation I had with the creator of freeballroomlessons.com. He specializes in teaching social-level ballroom dancing, but used to dance competitively. We were talking about how expensive ballroom competitions are, especially for a pro-am student like myself, and about the emotional rollercoasters that competing in ballroom puts me on.
He wondered, with all of the financial and emotional stress involved in competition, why do I do it?
Every once in awhile, I like to reflect on where I am versus where I was. I have changed and grown so much in the past few years, and I think it is important to pause and acknowledge that growth. It’s a good thing to practice, especially when you feel like you’re stuck in your current situation. Think of this as a more in-depth follow-up to When Taking Ballroom, Side Effects May Include…
So how has the Girl evolved?
I think I’m going to make this post the last of this series. “Part 7” just feels like one too many, and I can tell I’m starting to circle back on emotions. There won’t be anything new to share with you, only revisited thoughts and feelings. This final part is about accepting that emotions like feeling sorry for yourself are part of the process of dealing with a loss or hardship and are OK. Sometimes.
You can read the whole How to Cope with Loss series here.