Ask the Girl Episode 5 – Why Do I Do This to Myself?

Today’s Ask the Girl episode was inspired by a conversation I had with the creator of freeballroomlessons.com.  He specializes in teaching social-level ballroom dancing, but used to dance competitively. We were talking about how expensive ballroom competitions are, especially for a pro-am student like myself, and about the emotional rollercoasters that competing in ballroom puts me on.

He wondered, with all of the financial and emotional stress involved in competition, why do I do it?

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The Evolution of a Dancer

Every once in awhile, I like to reflect on where I am versus where I was. I have changed and grown so much in the past few years, and I think it is important to pause and acknowledge that growth. It’s a good thing to practice, especially when you feel like you’re stuck in your current situation. Think of this as a more in-depth follow-up to When Taking Ballroom, Side Effects May Include…

So how has the Girl evolved?

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How to Cope with Loss – Part 6: It’s Ok to Feel Sorry for Yourself Sometimes

I think I’m going to make this post the last of this series. “Part 7” just feels like one too many, and I can tell I’m starting to circle back on emotions. There won’t be anything new to share with you, only revisited thoughts and feelings. This final part is about accepting that emotions like feeling sorry for yourself are part of the process of dealing with a loss or hardship and are OK. Sometimes.

You can read the whole How to Cope with Loss series here.

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How to Cope with Loss – Part 5: Keep Busy!

Read the whole How to Cope with Loss series here.

No lessons this week. And I’m not positive, but I think no lessons next week. Teacher needed surgery to set the fractures in his wrist so they would heal properly. He’s under strict orders to rest and not work for at least a full week.

As for me, I’m fighting a creeping darkness. So many of my plans have been obliterated. I’ll go into that more in a separate post. For now, I’m trying to just stay busy.

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How to Cope with Loss – Part 4: Dare to Dream?

Read the whole How to Cope with Loss series here.

Just a quick note before I hit the sack.

I had another lesson with Teacher today, my second standing of the week. We worked more on silver waltz and went back into silver Viennese. Afterwards, we talked a little about Ohio Star Ball and what kind of events I should enter. I’m still hesitant to let myself say yes, we’re going! But nonetheless, I found myself happy to talk about what levels we would do in the single dance events and what level to enter in the scholarships/multi-dance events and what my goals were as far as placements and performance. It was easy for my mind to run down that path and start imagining how fun and exciting (and nerve-wracking) it will be!

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How to Cope with Loss – Part 3: Steps Back Toward Normal

I’m working through this ordeal a little faster than anticipated. I think I have my personal growth on my ballroom journey thus far to thank. And the fact that I am not going through it alone. Teacher is proving himself to be a true partner. Not that I had doubts, but I’m not comfortable depending on others. I am currently in a state of fluctuation, fine one hour, depressed the next. Hopefully, my see-sawing moods didn’t affect the readability of this post too much.

Read the whole How to Cope with Loss series here.
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How to Cope with Loss – Part 2: “Supposed to” Days

In Part 2, I find myself starting to adjust to the idea I won’t be going to USDC, although it is still surreal. But the event hasn’t even started yet. This coming week is full of to-do’s and supposed-to’s that are no longer part of my story. But they remain, like cruel calendar reminders that pop up when my mind starts to relax and forget that plans have changed.

Read the whole How to Cope with Loss series here.

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Countdown to USDC – 12 Days: Well, That Could Have Gone Better

Ever have one of those days where you just want to yell “I swear I’m better than this!” because the current evidence is indicating otherwise? Yeah, that was me during my last lesson.

I was such a good student. Arrived at the studio an hour before my scheduled lesson time. I did my stretches and I did a round of my bronze routines AND my silver routines, all on my own. The silver was a little questionable because I still don’t have all of the steps, angles, directions, etc. without Teacher leading me. But I got through them.

Then my lesson started. We were working on silver.

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