Ever get so used to things going wrong or off-script that when things start actually going your way, you get suspicious?
I’m feeling very suspicious. My last few lessons working on tango have been awesome. Thanks to extra work from my second job, I will have enough money to go to the competition I wanted to go to. I had no weekend and am working almost every night this week, BUT I WILL HAVE THE MONEY TO COMPETE!
I get this question a lot when I’m at the studio. I ask this question a lot! It’s a standard “catch up” question among ballroom dancers to find out what event you’re working toward. But it’s also become an awkward question because my answer is “I have no idea.”
I’m slowly figuring out how to cope with not having a real answer to that question. I’m working on setting non-competition dance goals to keep myself busy and motivated (keep an eye out for an article on those!). Teacher doesn’t want me to give up on competition goals though, even if the next one is six months out or more. Usually encouragement and support from Teacher would boost my motivation to find any and all creative solutions to my financial dilemma. That’s how I managed to afford my 2015 comps!
But something is holding me back. And considering I just wrote about why I crave a challenge beyond just dancing, I want to explore why I’m having trouble motivating myself to find a new path to the fuel that feeds my inner fire.
You guys don’t mind me using this platform to psychoanalyze myself, right?