Who Are You Dancing For?

You know those people who draw everyone’s attention when they walk into a room? Whether it’s their walk or their smile or their eyes or everything about their body language, people notice them. I am not one of those people. I am one of those people who slips in unnoticed and hangs around for 20 minutes before someone says “oh, when did you get here?!” I generally avoid the spotlight. I’ve pushed myself to let some inner light shine through in my dancing. But I still tend to retreat to the shadows as soon as I can. Unfortunately, I will not be able to go after a national title in the shadows. Shucks.

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Mental Smackdown – When Your Dealer Cancels Your Next Fix

On today’s episode of Mental Smackdown, I share what happens when an external trigger sets the demons loose in my head and how I attempt to bring order back to the chaos that’s created.

I was having a really good night, feeling genuinely optimistic about life in general.  And then my lesson was cancelled. Cue descent into darkness.

I know, I know, so dramatic! It’s just one lesson. Disappointment, sure, but descent into darkness? Really? Financially, it helps me because it stretches my last lesson payment that much further. So what’s my problem? Well, like any good addict, sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is my next fix. I think it’s been well established that I am addicted to ballroom and my heart and soul gets poured into it. Good or bad, I desperately rely on my two standing lessons to get me through some weeks. I may be hating life, but at least I have a lesson to look forward to. So when that oasis I’m crawling toward turns out to be a mirage? Let’s just say the struggle is real. Still too dramatic? Just wait, it gets better.

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The Cathartic Beauty of Dance

On April 4, 2015, I lost a dear friend and the world lost a beautiful person and dancer.  She passed away from the ALS that had ravaged her body for the past two years.  She was one of my first ballroom friends and had an amazing smile. She always encouraged me and supported me in my dancing efforts.  I always think of her when I’m battling my demons because she always told me, very firmly, don’t let your fears hold you back.

Her memorial service was this past Saturday and I had a dance lesson right after. Teacher wanted to work on my performance more because he says my technique is solid, we just need to put the finishing touches on my dance for Emerald Ball. Which means I need to emote more! And why not, I had already spent the whole morning very emotional, may as well put it into my dance. It’s what my friend would have told me to do.

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Lightbulb Moment – New Approach to Expressing Emotion

I set a goal for myself to practice performance in at least three of my lessons in the month of April. I had the same goal set in March but I didn’t tell my teacher and never really pushed myself to do it without him prompting. So this month I let Teacher in on the plan, and like the good teacher he is, he set aside time in my last lesson for me to “perform.” I managed to not run away in panic.

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Videos! Aahhh!

Ok, as promised, I didn’t dawdle in publishing my Video page!  I kept previewing it, hoping I’d think of a reason I needed to delay, but I couldn’t think of anything. So there ya go, check it out! Or not, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.  That page can grow dusty from lack of visitors, it’s ok!

I’m going to take an example from another blogger and go make myself a cup of tea! And not take the page down.  I will not delete the page.  I will not delete the page. I will not delete the page.

I need some chamomile.

Put Yourself Out There!


I just added a photo gallery to the website!  Just a few shots from the competitions and showcases I’ve done to date.  I plan on adding a page with links to some videos from my competitions as well. Honestly, I had the gallery pretty much ready to go about a week ago.  But I didn’t want to hit “publish.” It’s scary to put yourself out there!  It’s one thing to write about my competitions, but to add visual aids and announce “here I am!”… Yikes. It’s a risky thing to open yourself up to the opinions of others. Especially when you know you aren’t perfect, you’re still learning, and therefore, you’re more vulnerable to criticism.
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Lightbulb Moments – Rising in Waltz and Dealing with Doubt

I’ve decided to start a series called “lightbulb moments.” These are the moments when something “clicks” in your head and you finally understand whatever your teacher was trying to convey to you. Maybe my moments will be things that were obvious to you, but who knows, maybe sharing them will help someone else with their own lightbulb!

So how does a ballroom dancer change a lightbulb?

Direction, and then rotation! (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.)


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