We have arrived at yet another competition in Episode 5 of Dancing Queens. This episode served us more tension and drama between the women as they prepare to take the floor once again. For me, the drama felt much more manufactured via the magic of editing than in previous episodes, but hey, the producers have to keep the audience engaged, right? Not everyone tunes in just to see the dancing.
Aside from the artificially inflated tension, Episode 5 also highlighted some of the realities unique to the adult pro-am ballroom student experience. We are already living full lives when we first enter a ballroom dance studio. We have full-time jobs, homes and families that require our time and energy. Yet the passion for dance cannot be denied, and when we reach the point of committing to a competitive dance journey, sacrifices have to be made. The question is, are they worth it?
What appears to be a sacrifice to others is simply a worthwhile step closer toward a goal for someone pursuing their passion. I wasn’t giving up Sunday mornings for my weekly solo practice at the studio; I was gaining strength, balance and confidence in my dancing. I know ballroom dancers who drive hours one way to get to their dance lessons, who scrimp and save all year just to be able to compete at one event, or who return to their hotel room to get work done in between their heats. For some, being a competitive ballroom dancer also means becoming an expert juggler.
Anyone who is a mother of young children and a competitive ballroom dancer is constantly trading time between themselves and their kids. We know Sabrina, Colette, Leonie and Pooja all have children who need their care, and as we saw in this episode, the decision to dance has consequences. Leonie talks about her daughter not being invited to as many play dates because Leonie isn’t always available for the mom group. Sabrina is missing one of her daughter’s gymnastics competitions because it falls on the same day as her ballroom competition.
The decision to dance is also often questioned or criticized by the people in our lives who don’t dance and don’t understand what the big deal is. We are made to feel guilty and selfish for choosing into our passion. The pressure to give it up and “be reasonable” grows heavier as we commit ourselves more fully to our dance journeys.
I can’t say whether it’s right or wrong for anyone else because it’s a very personal decision. For me, it was the right decision because of the incredible gifts that dance gave me in return – discovery of who I was, confidence to show up as my true self, courage to stand up for myself, belief that I am strong and capable of taking on new challenges. These gifts led to promotions at work, my journey into entrepreneurship, the publication of my books and journals, and new relationships that I now cherish. My journey in ballroom dance helped me through a divorce and helped me face deep-set fears and anxieties. It also led me to my current happiness in Maine!
So there’s no question at all for me as to whether the “sacrifices” were worth it. Sometimes I wonder how much more money I could have in the bank by now if I hadn’t spent it on all of those dance lessons. If I’m honest, I probably would have found some other way to spend it that wouldn’t have had such a lasting and profound impact on my life. What a shame that would have been.
Another side of this reality that I don’t think gets acknowledged as much is the pressure we receive from within the dance world. Outside of dance, work, family and friends wonder about or even criticize how much time we spend in the studio. Within our dance circles, there can be pressure for not spending enough time in the studio. If we are really committed to our dancing, we should be practicing in the studio every day. If we really want to be champions, we should be showing up at more competitions. Meanwhile at home, “You’re never home, you’re always going to the studio or some dance competition.”
Pooja talks about the pressure within the dance world. Her mother and her sister are also competitive dancers in the Latin style and partner with the same pro. Pooja feels like she needs to prove herself after transitioning from being a champion Rhythm dancer to a new Latin dancer. There’s pressure to show that she’s just as committed to her dancing as her mother and sister. At the same time, she is running her own business, raising two small children, and is married to a man who, according to Pooja, doesn’t understand her passion for dance.
It’s a lot for a person to take on themselves, but like I said, the gifts that dance presents us in return make it all worthwhile. There is fulfilment and satisfaction that happens at a soul level, and that carries us through the challenges and the doubts.
I do feel like I need to offer a reality check to those who are watching the show and do not have experience in the pro-am world themselves.
It is not typical to go to competitions every week. Only the wealthiest of students are able to afford to compete that frequently. It also isn’t very practical for a student because that schedule leaves little to no room for downtime and recovery, reflection on the previous event, focused training on whatever aspect of your dancing you want to improve, and then practice and rehearsal to incorporate that improvement into your routines.
Ballroom competitions occur year-round, so there is no natural off-season when you focus on training and practice. It’s up to the ballroom dancer to choose how their competitive year will go. A strategic competitor may select a large competition like Ohio Star Ball or the United States Dance Championships as a final destination point and then choose which competitions they want to use as preparation for that final round. Others may have a few favorite events that they attend every year. Still others may be restricted financially and attend the one event that is available locally. Competing almost every weekend however can cause a pro-am dancer to burn out quickly trying to keep up such a high pace while also managing a life outside of dance. We will have to wait and see how the women on Dancing Queens fare!
Before I sign off, I had a great conversation recently with The Dancing Housewife on her podcast, Coffee Break, in which we dived back into Episodes 1 through 3. Have a listen!
Catch up on the reviews of other Dancing Queens episodes here and don’t forget to support the blog. Please and thank you. 🙂
The Girl with the Tree Tattoo 
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