The title isn’t a metaphor. I’m wrote this post while sitting against a heating pad. This month’s guest article, Life Outside of Dance…, came at the perfect time for me. The night I reviewed Birgit’s final draft was also the night I woke up with a painful muscle spasm in my back. A cluster of muscles in my upper back took it upon itself to seize up and refuse to be moved. It made that painfully clear every time I tried to roll over or shift my position in bed to get more comfortable. The next morning was Friday. I was able to get out of bed and walk. I could even bend down and touch my toes! I just couldn’t rotate to the right. At all. You never realize how many actions require at least a small turn to the right until you can’t do it.
Tag: dancer
Diverted
Happy October everyone! Also known as the start of six months of trying to avoid too much weight gain. I love the holidays and all the treats that come with them, but there’s always a price. One way I avoid bringing too much candy and other holiday goodies into the house is reminding myself that the money I spend on treats is money I won’t have for dance!
Today wasn’t the best start to the month. It was day 2 of the second headache of the week. I still managed to do my solo practice. The last two Sundays I’ve practiced over two hours. I decided not to push myself too hard today and only did an hour. It was frustrating, but I’m doing my best to focus on the positive.
A Rough Start to a New Chapter
When I did my review of Embassy Ball, I wrote about feeling like I was starting a new chapter in my dance story. The path was unclear and scary, but also exciting. There was talk of exploring my dancer identity and honing my message. I started new boards on Pinterest, one for ballroom dress inspiration and another for attitude inspiration. My brain was buzzing with ideas and new motivation to uncover more of my true self in dancing as soon as Teacher returned from Nationals (which took place the week following Embassy).
Then Teacher returned from Nationals.
Interview with Nicholas Barkley: Dancing with Demons
As follow-up to their joint interview in April, I had asked Elizabeth Thomson and Nicholas Barkley if they would be willing to do individual interviews and share more of how ballroom has impacted their lives. Liz shared her struggles with PTSD and how ballroom brought her back to life in May. Now, we get to hear from Nick!
I Have to Give Up
I know I preach a “don’t give up” philosophy. The #dontgiveup hashtag appears on the majority of my Instagram posts. Perseverance, along with hard work and a bit (or a lot) of luck, has gotten me where I am today.
Fall down seven times, get up eight.
It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop.
#keepgoing
I’ve shared all of these meme-worthy quotables and turned them into motivational mantras for myself. They and similar phrases help get me through the tough days, weeks and months. I’ve come this far, I can’t give up now.
Well, over this past week, I realized I have to change my tune a bit. I’ve reached a point where I don’t really have a choice. I have to give up.
It makes me anxious, but it’s for the best.
Guest Post by Christiann Miranda – I Never Really Knew
This month, I invited another dancer to write her own story. We met through Instagram of all places. Her Instagram account (@girlinthe_vans) is mainly videos of her dancing at a gym. No fancy costumes or glamorous settings. Just her, the music, and dance. The story behind these videos is full of pain and loss. But always, there was dance, ready to act as a lifeline when she reached for it.
“Ballroom Was My Defibrillator” – A Conversation with Elizabeth Thomson
When I first spoke with Nicholas Barkley and Elizabeth Thomson about doing an interview for the blog, I also proposed a second set of individual interviews. Their stories of how ballroom became the key to coping with their PTSD were incredible and deserved their own spaces, separate from their shared story of becoming an amateur couple.
Liz was kind enough to make time for me during one of her visits down to Orange County. We met at my studio after one of my dance lessons and talked for over an hour. While we sat stretched out on the floor of the teachers’ break room, Liz shared her journey, from enlisting in the Army to getting diagnosed with PTSD to finding relief in ballroom. Although she still struggles, ballroom has been Liz’s defibrillator. It brought her back to life and saved her from becoming “just another PTSD statistic.”
Pushing Through the Crappy Days
About six months ago, I wrote a post about how the crappy days are more important. It was inspired by this quote of Georges St-Pierre:
“You don’t get better on the days when you feel like going. You get better on the days when you don’t want to go, but go anyway. If you can overcome the negative energy coming from your tired body or unmotivated mind, you will grow and become better. It won’t be the best workout you have, you won’t accomplish as much as what you usually do when you actually feel good, but that doesn’t matter. Growth is a long term game, and the crappy days are more important.” Georges St-Pierre, The Way of the Fight
I haven’t had a chance to get his book Way of the Fight yet, but it’s definitely on my list. I was thinking about this quote a lot in the last couple days because they’ve been pretty crappy.
This Time, I Did Cry
I’m just going to get straight to the point with what I want to share because I can’t think of a good lead-in. Teacher had another surprise for me at the end of my lesson on Friday: a second anonymous sponsor. This one didn’t just pay for my lesson; they wrote Teacher a check that covered over six lessons!
It was too much this time; I had to go sit in the bathroom so I could cry. I sat in the stall for so long, the motion-sensor light went out on me! Even now, thinking about it, I’m a little teary-eyed.
Eyes Up! Fighting My Own Nature
“You dropped–”
“I KNOW!”
That was Teacher and me at my last lesson. I was the one yelling in frustration.
It was the first lesson after the practice rounds on Saturday. Teacher had gotten comments back from the studio owner. I love getting these critiques and to my relief, there was nothing surprising. There is something comforting about learning that there isn’t anything major that you’ve been doing wrong that both you and your partner were unaware of. All of the comments were things Teacher and I have discussed and worked on before.
The Girl with the Tree Tattoo 