Ever get so used to things going wrong or off-script that when things start actually going your way, you get suspicious?
I’m feeling very suspicious. My last few lessons working on tango have been awesome. Thanks to extra work from my second job, I will have enough money to go to the competition I wanted to go to. I had no weekend and am working almost every night this week, BUT I WILL HAVE THE MONEY TO COMPETE!
*brief break to do a happy dance*
Ok, what’s the catch?
After several depressing posts, I thought I should try to turn the mood around by stopping the moaning and groaning and exercising a little gratitude instead. The only problem is I’m a bit of a cynic.
As just a person with experience, and not an expert or professional in the mental health field, here is a breakdown of how I handled my anxiety attacks described in yesterday’s post. Maybe someone else will find these tactics useful.
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I got my new video of the silver foxtrot routine. And what’s more, I actually feel like I am starting to get the hang of it!
I’m always so grateful for the lessons where things just go well.
But I’ll be frank with you. I think I had something to do with it.
Sometimes I go back and reread old blog posts because the same issues come back to pester me again and again. This one from the Uphill Factor seemed to fit the pestering thoughts today.
I’m fighting this fear of never being “good enough” even though I don’t really know what that means. Good enough for what?? I’m trying so many things right now to reshape my brain into a more positive thinking entity. Less focus on the fear and doubt. But the hilarity is sometimes I think “shit, what if I fail at all these things?” How’s that for special? I’m focusing on the possibility of failure in attempts to be more positive. But what my old post linked above reminded me was I am trying, I’m not giving up, and that should make me “good enough,” no matter the final outcome. So even if months from now, I’m still as cynical as ever in my thinking, at least I tried to absorb more unicorns and rainbows! I’m giving it my best shot and that counts for something.
The Girl with the Tree Tattoo 