For the first time on Dancing Queens, we get to see all six of the ladies on the competition dance floor. Sabrina, Donie, Colette, Gaëlle and Pooja are facing each other at New Orleans Open, while Leonie tests out her partnership with her pro partner Koysta at American Star Ball. Episode 3 showed us how mindset comes into play in the final moments before stepping onto the floor. This past week’s Episode 4 gives us the opportunity to ask the question: do placements matter?

Leonie had a lot riding on her performance at American Star Ball. She saw the results of that event as being a key deciding factor on whether she and her pro partner were ready to compete at bigger events. Doing well was also a matter of self-confidence for her personally. After a minor misstep in her Samba, her teacher reminded Leonie that the judges don’t know her routine. I was told that key fact many times. If you don’t show that you’ve made a mistake in the choreography, then they’ll never know! Turns out Leonie had nothing to worry about because she danced away with 1st place!

The five ladies in New Orleans competed against each other and the results were as follows:

1. Sabrina
2. Colette
3. Gaëlle
4. Donie
5. Pooja

This event was Pooja’s first competition in the Latin style, but coming from a lot of success in American Rhythm, she had high expectations for herself. So coming in last was unexpected and disappointing. Donie had placed 6th at Tri-State, and she didn’t seem to feel much better about placing 4th this time. Sabrina feels redeemed to be back in 1st place. She said she wasn’t going to accept lower after sacrificing time with her family during Passover. Colette also redeems herself with 2nd place after not making the final at Tri-State.

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I wrote last week about how expectations in terms of placements can really mess with your head if you’re not careful. At the same time, if you’ve worked hard to prepare for an event and give it your all, you would hope your results would match your effort. So what happens when they don’t? Do the placements really matter?

No…but also yes.

Embassy Ball 2017 was the first competition where I felt I had danced my absolute best and received my worst placement up to that point. I was devastated. My ego had gotten used to my results meeting my expectations. I was able to pick myself back up and get back to dancing, but only after throwing a small tantrum and a pity party for myself.

I could offer the typical platitudes – the results don’t matter, what matters is how you felt, or you’re really only competing against yourself. But I like to keep it real here and I know those phrases only scratch the surface of what it means to compete as a dancer.

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Dance is an artform in which we as the dancers are both the artists and the art. We pour our creative passion into our movement in order to connect with a joy that touches our souls and makes us feel alive. When we compete, we’re inviting others to judge our art. The problem is because our art is us, those judgments can feel very personal and a lower judgment can feel like an attack on our self-worth.

That probably sounds very big and dramatic, but in reality, it shows up in the form of that slight sting or the drop in your stomach you feel when the announcer calls your name for last place. It’s the mask you quickly put on – the gracious smile – to hide your disappointment or confusion as you walk up to accept your result. It’s the shrug-and-smile you give in response to anyone’s attempt to console you after you’ve left the floor. It’s the creeping doubt about whether you should continue to compete if your results don’t seem to be improving.

As much as I want to believe that the results don’t matter, we are human and we are social creatures. We are built to desire external validation and acceptance by others. Getting a high placement at a competition can feed that desire. Our society also tends to tie self-worth to accomplishments, so again, getting a high placement at a competition feels validating.

Not that we’re thinking about human evolution or societal expectations on the dance floor. Most of us just want to dance well and enjoy the experience, and hopefully our performance also means we’ll place well. The trick is disconnecting how we feel about our dancing from our results.

That disappointing result back at Embassy Ball 2017 wrecked my experience. I felt so good about my dancing until I heard my result announced, and suddenly I felt like I sucked. I allowed the opinions of the judges to dictate how I felt about my own dancing instead of letting their opinion be their opinion and my own internal feelings be dominant in me. The reality is I did dance my best that day, but I’m sure the other dancers on the floor did too. Many of them danced better than me in the judges’ eyes. That doesn’t take away from the fact that I still danced my best.

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The mindset of a competitive dancer is like walking on a tightrope. You have to balance between dancing for yourself and your own internal fulfillment and dancing for the trophy. I liked competing because everything mattered in my performance – my technique, my connection, my artistry, etc. All of the hard work came together. That felt very satisfying to me. The potential of a reward at the end added an extra dose of motivation to go full out and hold nothing back. The stakes felt higher, which added a weight to the performance like this was something that really mattered. It was for more than just fun.

If you lean too much toward dancing for the trophy, then you risk allowing the results to dictate how you feel about your dancing. So no matter how amazing you danced, if you don’t get the placement you wanted, you feel like shit about it. On the other hand, if you lean too far to the other side, you could miss out on that extra energy that comes from the competitive environment and can give you that extra oomph in your dancing.

Some do compete just for fun and are lucky to be in a financial position to do so. They don’t feel the need for that extra oomph because they find their joy just in being on the floor. For those of us who work toward champion-level dreams, we must stay mindful of that tightrope. The competition results should never overshadow the joy and passion we feel for our dancing.

We must also remember that we are competing in a very subjective media. It’s not as black and white as scoring the most points or arriving at the finish line first. We have to catch the judge’s eye and not only impress them with our technical dance skills but also make them feel an emotional connection to the art we’re presenting. That’s hard to do! On top of that is the appearance aspect. If you don’t fit the typical ballroom mold, it’s potentially harder for you to draw attention and impress the judges.

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Luckily, if you don’t place well at one competition, there is always another one around the corner. You can also enter the same competition the following year to try again. After my disappointment in 2017, I returned to Embassy Ball in 2018 and ended up winning the World title! Then I went back again in 2019 to compete at the Open level for the first time and didn’t make it out of the semi-final.

Placements don’t matter, whether you place last or first, because this journey isn’t about just one particular competition. It’s about your growth as a dancer. However, treating each competition seriously, meaning you are showing up as your best self every time, and tapping into that hungry competitive energy can help you elevate your dancing. Placements do matter because each victory should be celebrated, even if they are all just steps along a bigger journey. I was one World Champion out of many in 2018, but that doesn’t take away from my personal victory.

At the same time, you can’t let the competition element drag you down by becoming more important than your joy and your passion for dance. Yes, it feels amazing when you win, but you should get to feel amazing on the dancefloor at every event, regardless of the final results.

I hope by now you see why I can’t just say that competition results don’t matter because that statement oversimplifies the rich and multi-faceted journeys of competitive ballroom dancers. Pro-am ballroom events wouldn’t exist if the competitive aspect didn’t matter to anyone. Dancing Queens wouldn’t have been produced. The results do matter, but we get to decide how much and how they affect us. You can decide that your wins are to be celebrated loudly and your losses are to be brushed aside. It’s your dance journey after all. Own it!

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