I originally wrote this letter in 2014 for my old website, the Uphill Factor. I like to reread it every once in awhile to remind myself. I think it’s a nice follow-up to my On Not Giving Up post.
We’ve known each other for a long time. Decades. You’ve been with me through good times, bad times, scary times, and joyful times. You’ve always been there. And after all this time, there is something I need to say.
Dude, I have had enough of your bullshit. It’s time for it to stop. I know this may come as a shock, but fuck off. I am tired, nay, exhausted of your constant fucking whispering in my ear. Constantly telling me that I am not good enough and I am going to fail and look like a fool doing it. Or that people are laughing behind my back after giving me praise. Are you fucking serious?
After all the things I’ve done, after all the accomplishments, you still don’t think I can succeed? Again, fuck you. Sure, I’m not going to succeed at everything I attempt, but who the fuck are you to predict my future?
I’m fucking sick of this. I’m sick of feeling like crap after someone tells me I look beautiful. I’m sick of questioning someone’s motives behind telling me my dancing looks great. It’s fucked up. And I have had enough.
Self-doubt, I know we’ve been through a lot together, but it’s time for us to part ways. I’m not an idiot. I know you won’t leave without a fight. Or at all. But know that you’re not welcome here anymore. You are not fucking welcome.
You Know Who