Tomorrow marks a full month of working from home. Time has been moving at an erratic pace. It feels like months since I had a dance lesson, years since I last competed, and yet, have I really been home for an entire month already?

Week 4 of staying at home brought its own challenges, but I held fast to the idea of pacing myself. Finding the right pace turned out to be one of the challenges, and the search continues.

I’ll keep this week’s post short because I think it would be lame to try to make my week of barely working, watching Disney movies in order of release date (true story), and not dancing sound interesting or inspiring.

Restricting my physical activity to PT exercises and short walks with the dogs seemed to help my knees. They calmed down enough by the end of the week that I thought I’d be able to do a workout and some light solo practice this weekend. Well, turned out that even the knee-friendly workout I chose yesterday was pushing it a bit. It’s ok. We just reset and try again.

To stick with my plan, instead of actual dancing today, I’m going to watch videos from my last competition. We know that a lot more goes on in the body than is seen visually, so as I watch myself dance, I can mentally review what’s happening in my body to create that movement. Call it a different twist on choreo review.

I haven’t joined any other online classes yet. Teacher and his wife put together a great lineup of group classes, but I wasn’t feeling up to the social interaction this past week. I’m also still processing my whys and what being a ballroom dancer means for me in a world where I can only dance solo in my living room. Watching some old videos of me dancing should help me reconnect with my inner dancer too.

I hope you’ll notice the process I’m going through. This week was full of more negative emotions than positive. Frustration, depression, and general lack of motivation were the headliners. Along with those however were positive actions.

It’s been frustrating to deal with my knees and not be able to get some stress relief out of a good Zumba class. AND I’ve been diligent in doing my PT exercises.

I hopped back to the depression stage of grief as my old dance life drifts further away and I find it difficult to imagine a better future. AND I still played music and danced with my puppies to a pop song or visualized myself flying across a ballroom floor to a Viennese Waltz.

I spent a lot of time on the couch watching movies and TV this week, unmotivated to do anything else. AND I convinced myself to take action one little piece at a time. It’s not that big of a deal to move from the couch to the floor to do my PT. I can wash that one mug during this commercial (which usually leads me to washing all the dishes because I’m there already, so may as well).

The theme continues to be “pace yourself.” Slow down, take things one step at a time as needed, AND keep going.

I’ll leave you with one last action I’m taking – committing to my new online workshop series. The next workshop is April 25, and I’m really looking forward to it because I know it’s going to help me see past the grief and quarantine fogs and reconnect with the dancer in me who always finds a way to shine as her true self.

Care to join me? Register here.