Tomorrow is the last day of my vacation! That exclamation point is not for excitement, mind you. More for exasperation. Does it really have to end?
I have been hampered by a stubborn headache since Thursday. Teacher even cancelled my lesson on Friday 5 minutes in because I couldn’t focus and he didn’t want me to waste a lesson if I wasn’t feeling well. I was mad at myself later for not insisting that we continue the lesson. I can be as stubborn as my headaches. I plan on feeling well enough to make it to the social dance tomorrow. Anyone else coming?
If this week showed me anything, it’s that I shouldn’t wait so long to take an extended break from the daily grind! A noticeable weight was removed from my shoulders when my vacation officially started and I knew I wouldn’t have to return to the office on Monday. Plenty of people “work for the weekend,” but I feel like it shouldn’t be that way! It’s not always possible to love your job, but it shouldn’t feel like a burden either. You shouldn’t want to start counting the hours until quitting time on Friday at 9am Monday morning.
Even though I was on vacation, I don’t do well doing nothing all day. My favorite days this week were the ones split between doing my own work, a.k.a. writing and working on my website, dancing and taking walks with my pups. I found myself feeling genuinely content by Tuesday after just a couple days of experiencing “time freedom” when I could work on my own creative projects and feel productive and accomplished. This feeling is why people start their own businesses.
Not that I’m ready to pack up my cubicle, but it’s a long-term goal of mine to support my dancing, if not my life, through my own writing and other services while helping other people work through their fears and accomplish their dreams at the same time. This week was a nice glimpse into that ultimate fantasy. It was also a nice reminder of what it’s like to not feel stressed or worn out, even for just a little while. Why does the daily grind have to be such a grind?
Sometimes it’s frustrating that I still have to show up at the day job, so I can collect my paycheck to be able to pay rent and buy silly things like food and gas for my car. I don’t hate my job, but it was a blessing this week to be able to focus solely on the work I’m more passionate about. Though my head is still throbbing, I feel excited about the various connections I’m making in the ballroom world and the opportunities that keep coming up to help others on their own journeys.
I said I was going to refocus after my pity party, and with help from an awesome lady boss, it seems that I have. I expect I will be feeling plenty sorry for myself in the upcoming months as competitions pass me by, but I’ll just keep refocusing. The comps have been a great tool for challenging myself and growing as a person. At least while that personal growth is slowed down, I’ll be able to help others in their pursuits.