I had no idea what to write for today. I had a list of topics, but none of them were speaking to me. Then I took a phone call, and inspiration finally came to me.
And then it left, right after I wrote “inspiration finally came to me.”
Clearly, something is blocking my creative flow (stress, maybe!). Well, since I already wrote the title, I’ll do my best to put something together. If it doesn’t work out well, you can always catch up on the rest of my posts for the 31 Day Writing Challenge!
The idea of teaching ballroom has been brought up to me a lot, but more frequently in the last couple of weeks. Many people go this route as a way to continue dancing and help support the habit at the same time. So given my constant financial tight rope act, others think it is a natural step for me to take and that I’d be a great teacher. I am on the fence.
On the positive side, it would be another way for me to help people pursue their dance passion and work past fears. When I’ve played a lead in a group class, I’ve been told that I lead very well. Earning a little extra for my dance fund is always welcome. And I’ve been told that if I work as a junior or assistant teacher, I can keep my amateur status and continue to compete with Teacher.
If I’m completely honest, the main reason I hesitate is a lack of confidence. My first reaction to being told I’d be a great teacher is denial and dismissal: “really? no…” It’s hard for me to see what I have to give that people would be willing to pay for. I’ve written about it and I’ve experienced it firsthand. People don’t like parting with their hard-earned cash. They may fully support your venture with encouragement, but tunes change when you ask for monetary support. I don’t blame them! I think of the level of teaching I’d be willing to pay for, and I know I’m not at that level.
But it’s not like I’d jump in and start teaching silver-level amateurs with competition goals. I’d work with beginners, people who were just starting to dip their toes in the ballroom pool. One friend told me she’d be willing to pay me just to teach her the steps, without any coaching on technique. Ok, I guess I could maybe do that.
The other demon playing a role here is the extremely high level of expectations and pressure I put on myself. I’m only considering the idea of teaching, and part of me is rejecting it already because I currently couldn’t teach at the same level as my own teacher who has been dancing ballroom for close to 20 years. Sure, that’s a logical comparison.
If I ignore the lack of confidence and the absurd expectation level, what’s left to hold me back? The last thing would be my introverted nature. Dancing definitely brings me to life and rejuvenates my spirit. But the social interactions still use my energy, as opposed to restoring it. I love spending time with my friends at the studio and dancing at socials, but I can’t do it every day. I need quiet time at home to recharge. So I worry that I wouldn’t be able to be “on” all the time, that I would get burned out, and I would end up letting people down. I can show up to a lesson as a student in a depressed mood because Teacher takes the lead and can carry me through. I depend on that sometimes. I can’t do the same as an instructor. People will be looking to me for guidance and direction. People will be depending on me to carry them through. Ok, that’s me putting extra pressure on myself again.
If I’ve learned anything from ballroom, it’s that I am capable of much more than I ever imagined. Time and time again, I think I can’t do something in ballroom and then I go and do it. So while I’m not sure if I can teach or if I would be a good teacher, the opportunity to learn something about teaching ballroom has been presented to me and I’m going to hesitantly take it. It won’t cost me any extra money, so why not, right?
Just like when Teacher asks me if I’m ready to try something, I’m going to say “no, but let’s do it anyway.”